(a.k.a. Non-Violent Communication or NVC)

Model

Empathetically listening to	Honestly expressing
(1) observations	(1) observations
(2) feelings	(2) feelings
(3) needs	(3) needs
(4) requests	(4) requests

Purpose

(1) Create human connections that empower compassionate giving and receiving.
(2) Create governmental and corporate structures that support compassionate giving and receiving.

Skills

(1) Differentiating observation from evaluation, being able to carefully observe what is happening free of evaluation, and to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us;
(2) Differentiating feeling from thinking, being able to identify and express internal feeling states in a way that does not imply judgment, criticism, or blame/punishment;
(3) Connecting with the universal human needs/values (e.g. sustenance, trust, understanding) in us that are being met or not met in relation to what is happening and how we are feeling; and
(4) Requesting what we would like in a way that clearly and specifically states what we do want (rather than what we don’t want), and that is truly a request and not a demand (i.e. attempting to motivate, however subtly, out of fear, guilt, shame, obligation, etc. rather than out of willingness and compassionate giving).

For further details, see:
NVC